Job list

In my lifetime, I have had the following jobs:

-Bicycle repair (age 15)
-Porter (age 15-18)
-Shop clerk, Eddie Bauer (age 17)
-Auto body shop bitch (age 15-20, summers)
-Valet (age 18-19, summers)
-Montessori school instructor (age 19)
-Intern, Muzik Magazine (age 20)
-Intern, Biz 3 Publicity (age 20)
-Record store clerk (age 21)
-Law office bitch (age 22)
-Elks Lodge dishwasher/bartender (I got promoted cause I did a fuckin awesome job)
-Law office bitch #2 (age 23)
-Law office bitch #3 (age 24)
-Law office bitch #4 (age 24-25)
-Property management gopher on a bike (age 25)
-Painter (age 25)
-Leasing agent (age 25-26)
-Secret shopper (age 26)
-Law clerk, State's Attorney's office (age 26-27)
-Fruit peddler, Oak Park farmer's market (age 27)

What does the future hold? You tell me. I hated all of my legal jobs except for the last one. I feel as if I have regressed. Possibilities for the future include:

-Cop
-Lawyer
-Real estate agent
-Teacher
-Bum

Nostalgia

"The Orpheus myth recalls nostalgia, the painful longing to return to a past that never was. Nostalgia is from the Greek, nostos, meaning "to return home" and algos, meaning "pain," and suggests a deep longing for an earlier time. But, the time Orpheus desperately longs for is necessarily imaginary, not of space (which we can return to), but a wish to override the irreversibility of time. Nostalgia is a reaction to lost time, the inability to return. It is primarily an emotional response to fate, to time’s irrecoverable nature in conscious awareness. It is the very pastness of the past, its inaccessibility, that accounts for nostalgia's power. However, this is not the past as actually experienced; it is the past as imagined, as idealized through memory and desireWhat Orpheus does not realize is that his fixation on the past is in fact about the present, an inverted history, we might say, of a perceived unattainable ideal life which is projected into the past. Nostalgia is a recollection that is, at the same time, a forgetting (or, dynamically speaking, an ignoring, or dissociation, which reflects the inability to assign emotional significance to a situation) at the service of fantasy’s desire to reconstruct the past.This taking flight is an exile, a “turning away” from self-awareness and the responsibility of the present—which might very well mean confronting (and therefore, grieving) a past that was complicated, contaminated, difficult, and ugly, or confronting an irretrievable loss that precludes the fulfillment of a future fantasy-- of what could have been..."

brother paul