growing up or down
So I'm sitting here, in my underwear, on three vico's and a couple Goose islands (make that 4), wondering where my saturday nights went.
Work is a bitch that way. I get up at 6:30, hump my ass to work, and get home 12 hours later. I guess it's no secret where the time goes. I play music on weekdays because weekends are saved for family and more important social engagements for everyone. The weekend comes and you're dog-tired. For all of you out there doing what you supposedly love and moaning about not getting paid, just remember what every idealist tells you: it ain't all that.
I have friends running record labels, working on sets for award-winning tv shows, editing books, running magazines, in bands with world-class musicians, in the Secret Service...Not enough money?? Who gives a shit?
I guess I do.
I can't reconcile that fear. But, I've always been a risk-taker. I crave that excitement. At the same time I can't ignore the fact that we all get old. At some point, money will be very important. Just how important I am only starting to understand. But do you give up safety for excitement?
A guy I know went to a Great Books school. I don't know how the curriculum works at these schools but they turn out some romantic-thinking people. I'm always impressed by the stories I hear him tell of his classmates and what they ended up doing with themselves. Cobblers, cops, cabinet-makers.
A neighbor of mine is a Bulgarian immigrant, a husband and a father. I told him recently that I'm only a few paperwork-steps away from being a Chicago police.
"Why you want to be a poleezman? You're in best position right now where you are. Working for family bizness is guud thingk."
He was absolutely against the idea. But it sounds great to me. Exciting. The chance to go back to school, fully paid. Work that could make you feel like you're contributing (to what you're contributing is a whole other post...for that see secondcitycop.blogspot.com).
"This is bad idea. You were never in military. You don't know how to take orders."
He's right...I don't. But would I learn? If I take the leap it might be hard to come back. I'm not sure how it would rock the boat in my marriage. My wife's fear is me coming home to her wearing black pants and white socks in our Edison Park yellow-brick bungalow.
I can understand her fear. I've done some 180's in the 9 years we've known each other, but this would top 'em all. She's not the type to leave, and neither am I, so weathering that storm would take it's toll.
To follow your heart seems a luxury to me. 10 years ago I never would have said that. What happened?
Work is a bitch that way. I get up at 6:30, hump my ass to work, and get home 12 hours later. I guess it's no secret where the time goes. I play music on weekdays because weekends are saved for family and more important social engagements for everyone. The weekend comes and you're dog-tired. For all of you out there doing what you supposedly love and moaning about not getting paid, just remember what every idealist tells you: it ain't all that.
I have friends running record labels, working on sets for award-winning tv shows, editing books, running magazines, in bands with world-class musicians, in the Secret Service...Not enough money?? Who gives a shit?
I guess I do.
I can't reconcile that fear. But, I've always been a risk-taker. I crave that excitement. At the same time I can't ignore the fact that we all get old. At some point, money will be very important. Just how important I am only starting to understand. But do you give up safety for excitement?
A guy I know went to a Great Books school. I don't know how the curriculum works at these schools but they turn out some romantic-thinking people. I'm always impressed by the stories I hear him tell of his classmates and what they ended up doing with themselves. Cobblers, cops, cabinet-makers.
A neighbor of mine is a Bulgarian immigrant, a husband and a father. I told him recently that I'm only a few paperwork-steps away from being a Chicago police.
"Why you want to be a poleezman? You're in best position right now where you are. Working for family bizness is guud thingk."
He was absolutely against the idea. But it sounds great to me. Exciting. The chance to go back to school, fully paid. Work that could make you feel like you're contributing (to what you're contributing is a whole other post...for that see secondcitycop.blogspot.com).
"This is bad idea. You were never in military. You don't know how to take orders."
He's right...I don't. But would I learn? If I take the leap it might be hard to come back. I'm not sure how it would rock the boat in my marriage. My wife's fear is me coming home to her wearing black pants and white socks in our Edison Park yellow-brick bungalow.
I can understand her fear. I've done some 180's in the 9 years we've known each other, but this would top 'em all. She's not the type to leave, and neither am I, so weathering that storm would take it's toll.
To follow your heart seems a luxury to me. 10 years ago I never would have said that. What happened?
posted by Roadsalt at
10:35 PM
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